Psychological reprocussions of finding out your wife is gay

Finding out your partner is gay or queer is one of these complicated situations that are both positive on certain levels and devastating on others. It's a lot to unpack. When a partner suddenly declares him or herself as gay or bisexual, there is loss of the relationship, of the story of your lives. Here's how to cope.

Gay man married to woman term

Resources for students and psychologists to gain a better understanding of issues that may affect the straight spouse when a wife or husband comes out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. The women in this study demonstrated that a husband coming out as gay can mean a long marital goodbye, an immediate separation, or a continued marriage.

All involve varying degrees of pain and loss, and a focus on the separate self and self-care can provide a pathway to healing. Coming out can be a significant event in an individual's life, often carrying a profound psychological impact. It's a process of self-disclosure where one acknowledges, accepts, and shares their sexual orientation or gender identity with others.

She nursed them both through their illnesses until their deaths. Low Sexual Desire Relationships Sex. Do I Need Help? Personal Growth. Remember to take care of your own well-being and seek support when needed. This models resilience in adult relationships for the children.

Straight Women and Their Gay Husbands | Psychology Today

For some, the more relieved or joyful the spouse is after coming out, the more devastated the other spouse. Share on Bluesky. While you'll probably be feeling strong emotions, try to avoid judgment and jumping to conclusions when hearing out your partner. Loyalty Conflicts: Children often feel torn, unsure of how to support one parent without betraying the other.

The emotional implications of divorce where one spouse comes out are complex. Over time this certainly impacted my own mental health and self-esteem. Divorce Essential Reads. Mental Health. Then everyone can stay in a category, and nobody is made uncomfortable because the rules of social prejudice are being challenged. If I tell the truth, it still often follows with a heart wrenching moment of watching them very closely, trying to read if they are okay with it.

There are plenty of wives who choose to stay married even after finding out later in the marriage that their husband is gay and attracted to men. Self Tests are all about you. Support and Acceptance: A divorce coach or therapist can help the spouses cultivate support and acceptance from their social circle. More from Psychology Today.

While you want to give your partner a chance to express themselves in a safe space, you must also acknowledge and share the complex feelings you may be experiencing, says Lee. The more liberal the community they live in, the better, but even the most liberal community may be bigoted about mixed-orientation couples.

Therapy can be a safe space for you to reflect on whether or not there was any denial on your part, says Lev. One woman's experience of growing up surrounded by transphobia in the 80's, being told that being trans is wrong in the 90's, and how she finally decided to be herself. Mixed-orientation marriages are as taboo today as black-white miscegenation was 50 years ago. I was fortunate never to encounter homophobic, bi-phobic or transphobic HBT bullying at school, I didn't come out until my psychological reprocussions of findings out your wife is gay.

While you want to keep an open mind and support your partner, you must be vigilant about self-care. Fortunately, psychology is keeping up, uncovering new ways to maintain mental and physical health, and positivity and confidence, through manageable daily habits like these. Back Psychology Today. His wife was hurt, upset, and worried about her health, but she also loved her husband.

To the person learning the news, it might feel like the other person has been harboring a secret, and this may feel like a betrayal, says Avigail Lev, PsyDa licensed clinical psychologist at Bay Area CBT Center in San Francisco who works with both couples and individuals.